(Unedited)
God's Plan for Young Women (Part 2)
Titus 2:4
Sunday, June 27, 2010
REVIEW
God's Plan for Older Women
Last time, we looked at God's plan for young women (2:4) and we saw the first two things that God wants for them: to love their husbands and children. These two commands are actually part of what older women are to teach young women. According to Titus 2:3-4:
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
I strongly encourage our older women here to get involved in ministries that can influence the younger generation of women. I suggest that the younger mothers, if you have daughters at home, start training them. Make this your goal for them:
That they become disciples of Christ who hold the biblical world view, and who possess godly character and wisdom necessary to fulfill God's calling and live for His glory.
When they reach their teens, start preparing them to leave home.
n Teach them to fear God and live for his glory.
n Teach them to put others ahead of themselves.
n Teach them financial wisdom.
n Teach them God's design for marriage.
n Teach them to choose companions carefully.
n Teach them to resist temptation.
n Teach them God's plan for women, to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
n Be a model of how wives are to love their husbands and children.
When your own children are grown up and you no longer have the responsibility over them then begin to take on the responsibility of training the next generation of women. Older women, be engaged in a training process to raise a generation of women who are committed to doing God's will. Establish an ongoing relationship with them and start mentoring them especially with regard to marriage, and the family, and the home, as God says here in Titus 2:4-5.
God's Plan for Young Women is not culture-bound
In our last study regarding God's plan for young women I said that if there is anything in our culture that is being attacked more viciously than any other, it is this matter of the role of young women which we read here in Titus 2:4-5.
Titus 2:4-5 to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands...
But these are God's standards for younger women-they are not negotiable. Let us not forget what Paul wrote in Titus 2:1: "But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine." This statement introduces this whole section of practical counsel for the different gender and age groups in the church.
In other words, the behavior that Paul here demands of young women is not culture-bound but is timeless and universal because it is in accordance with or goes with the life-and-health-giving teaching of God. Consider these passages:
· 1 Timothy 2:12-15 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing--if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
· 1 Corinthians 11:3, 7b,8 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. ... 7 ... woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man.
· 1 Corinthians 14:33b,34,37 ...As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. ... 37 If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord.
Paul ends the whole section of practical counsel for the different groupings in the church with a charge to Titus in chapter 2 verse 15 of Titus 2. Paul says, "Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you."
Today's Study
Now, let's go back to our study, "God's Plan for Young Women." As I said in the opening of this teaching, we already looked at the first two commands of Paul for young women which are "to love their husbands and children."
I was intending to move on to the next commands of Paul that are found in verse 5 but I cannot help giving some more comments on loving husbands, especially that in our congregation, there are some wives here whose husbands are not Christians. How do they love them when they discover they are not as lovable as they thought them to be previous to their marriage? [Note: Almost all of the following notes come from the book of Lee and Leslie Strobel, Surviving and Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage.]
Let me begin this by saying that there are many reasons why a believing wife may be in a situation right now where she is married to an unbelieving husband. Generally there are two ways how to get into that situation:
1. Before their marriage, the man and the woman may have been both unbelievers and then just before their wedding or when they got married already, the wife came to know the Lord and got saved.
2. Another possibility is that before the wedding, during the courtship stage, the girl was already saved but no Christian guy that she knows of interests her or courts her. And then one day here comes an unbeliever who shows interest in her. He belongs to another religion, but he's cute, he's kind, he's interesting, he's everything that he's looking for a guy, except that he's not a Christian. But then he starts getting interested in Christianity and starting to attend worship gatherings and she begins to think that it's just a matter of time before he makes a commitment to Christ. Anyway, that doesn't happen but somehow they manage to get a pastor to marry them.
Comment: It is really unfortunate that there are some pastors who do not take seriously God's command that is found in 1Co 7:39 that if a woman is going to marry she is to marry "only in the Lord." In other words if she is a Christian, she should marry only a Christian. This is also implied in 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
I read this story in the book, Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch, written by husband and wife Lee and Leslie Strobel. In that book they mention an article written by a pastor in a newspaper column.
In it, the pastor imagines an inner voice-one of unvarnished honesty-... as he gets ready to unite a Christian and a non Christian in marriage. The voice in his head wishes that it could speak this way to everyone who was present that day for the nuptials:
Dear friends, we have gathered here today to witness a disaster in the making. Martha here has decided she wants to marry Chester. Martha-churchgoer, hymn-singer, happy, raised right-is throwing it all away in order to marry Chet here, a smug, ungodly rascal. . . . Why Chester and Martha want to lock themselves into marriage is beyond me. . . [But] I'll say some religious words over you as we all pretend that somehow God is blessing what He has forbidden. You will exchange rings and vows and saliva and leave here seeking the lowest common denominator in your values, your beliefs and your convictions.... So let's pray, and pray, and pray.[1]
Regardless of the road that led a wife to be right now married to a non-Christian, this relationship will have its unique set of challenges, problems and concerns. But despite the difficulties, the Bible says that the believing spouse should not separate from the unbeliever.
1 Corinthians 7:13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
And so when trouble begins in your relationship because your values begin to collide, what do you do? How do you love your husband as Paul commanded? Here are principles that are derived from the book Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee and Leslie Strobel.
1. Instead of fixating on your struggles, focus on your Savior.
[According to the footnote, the Strobel's got this first principle from the book of Linda David entitled, How to be the Happy Wife on an Unsaved Husband.]
The first and greatest commandment tells us to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30 ESV). When you are going through troubles in your marriage and conflict with your unbelieving spouse, it is easy to get discouraged or get angry and bitter and to turn your attention away from God. But this is wrong. You should focus on God and keep Him first in your life. There are several reasons for doing so:
a. We keep God first because He deserves our primary allegiance. God is our Creator who made us in His image, our Sustainer who keeps us alive, our Redeemer whose Son died for our sins, and our father who adopted us as His children. First and foremost, we put God above all else because that's the place of honor that he deserves by virtue of who He is and what He has done. And the Bile makes this promise to those who draw close to God: James 4:8, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
b. We keep God first because this perspective recalibrates our life. Oswald Chambers said, "The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else." In other words, when you give God the reverence, honor, and awe that He deserves as your First Love, then all of a sudden you realize that nobody-and no circumstances-can ultimately harm you. King David asked in Psalms 27:1 "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" You're reminded God is in control and that your eternity is secure. Fear over marital turmoil begin to fade. On the other had, if you allow God to slip from preeminence in your life, you will find yourself afraid of every uncertain circumstance. Everything beyond your control will generate anxiety and fret within you.
c. We keep God first because He will meet needs that our spouse never could. It's fundamentally unfair to expect our marriage partner to fulfill needs that only God is truly capable of meeting. If he or she could do that, we would no longer have any use for God! By focusing on God as the One who will fulfill our deepest longings and give our life purpose and meaning, we release our spouse form unrealistic expectations that can only lead to disappointment.
d. We keep God first because He empowers us to love our spouse when he not very lovable. Galatians 5 vv. 16 and 22 tell us that if we yield ourselves to the Spirit, we will be able to overcome the nature tendencies of the fallen nature.
· Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ... 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,
· Paul adds in Gal 5:22-23 that "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control..."
· This is the kind of love that the Holy Spirit will produce: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
e. We keep God first because He can create something good from the pain of our mismatch. Romans 8:28 ESV And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. God doesn't promise to intervene and instantly "fix" your mismatch, but he does promise to use your circumstances-painful though they may be-to accomplish something good in your life and character. James 1:2-4 put it this way: "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
f. We keep God first because He will be our spouse when our earthly spouse is distant. At those times when the conflict from your mismatch makes you feel like a spiritual widow-God is there to comfort, encourage, and reassure you.
· Isaiah 54:5 ESV For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.
· Isaiah 54:10 ESV For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
· Hebrews 13:5b ... "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
g. Finally, we keep God first because He loves our partner even more than we do. Despite their often distasteful lifestyle, their foul language, their drinking, and their indifference toward God, spiritually lost people are of incalculable value to Jesus. 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
2. Instead of giving your spouse what He deserves, give him what God gave you.
· Romans 5:6-8 ESV For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-- 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
· Psalms 103:8-13 ESV The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 9 He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. 10 He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. 13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
· Colossians 2:13-14; 3:12-13 ESV And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14 by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. ... 12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
· Matthew 18:21-35 ESV Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" 22 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. 23 "Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.' 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, 'Pay what you owe.' 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."
Billy Graham's wife, Ruth said, "A good marriage is the union of two forgivers."
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