(Unedited)
God's Plan for Young Women
Titus 2:4-5
Sunday, June 06, 2010
INTRODUCTIONIn a few days, Senator Noynoy Aquino will be proclaimed as the new president of the Republic of the Philippines. The slogan that worked well for him was this: "Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap." Millions bought that line and jumped on the bandwagon which caused him to win the presidential race. The thing that inspired the majority to vote for him was unrealistic optimism that a moral and righteous president can transform our corrupt government into a morally upright one. This is an impossible task for any mere human.
We should not forget these principles:1. Government is simply a reflection society. If you want to change the government, you have to change society. How can you change government when the people of society sell their votes or when they concern themselves only with the selfish comforts?
2. Corrupt behavior only comes from a corrupt heart. (Matthew 15:19 ESV For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.) People steal because they are greedy. People commit adultery or rape because of a lustful heart. People murder because they are angry and unforgiving.
3. The gospel is the only solution. The Spirit of God using the Word of God is the only One who can transform people's hearts.
This makes our study of Titus chapter 2 so important and so relevant. Here we have God's standard. It tells us what true righteousness is. It tells us the secret to transformation. A. First of all it tells us God's standard of the righteous life (2:1-10). 1. It is in accord with sound doctrine (v. 1).· ("sound" = spiritually healthy, wholesome) This refers to the gospel.
2. God's standard of righteous living is both universal and specific (vv. 2-10). · V.2 - Older men are to sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness?
· Vv. 3-4 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and are they training the young women.
· Vv. 4-5 Younger women are to love their husbands and children. They are to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands.
· V.6 Younger men are to be self-controlled among other things.
· Vv. 7-8 Church leaders are in all aspects to be models of good works, and in their teaching they are to show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned.
· Vv. 9-10 Slaves (or in contemporary terms, "house help" or "employees") are to be submissive to their masters (or employers) in everything; well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith.
B. The basis for this transformed life is the gospel 2:11-14. · The gospel changes people's hearts.
Thank God for His Word. Thank God for the Bible, for the Gospel. Thank God for the church. Government cannot legislate morality. It can only punish lawbreakers and put criminals in jails. But laws cannot change peoples hearts. Only the Spirit of God can change people's hearts using God's Word. Review
Last time, we looked at God's plan for older women (2:3-4). Although Paul did not mention the age of the older women, perhaps this refers to those who were 60 years old and above. In today's language, we would call them senior citizens. I am making an intelligent guess here based on Paul's instructions regarding widows who are qualified to be put on the list to receive financial support from the church. He says that these widows are to be at least 60 years old. I guess it wouldn't be wrong to say that is what Paul means by older women.
God expects older women to live a certain kind of life. In our last study, we learned six things about the kind of life older women should have according to Titus 2:3-4:
1. Older women are to have the same behavior as those expected of older men.
· Titus 2:3 Older women likewise (or "in the same way"). The list of virtues for older men in Titus 2:2 such as being sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness are not applicable to them only, but also to older women.
2. Older women are to be reverent in behavior.
· The Greek for the phrase "reverent in behavior" means "to act like a sacred person" or a "priestess in a temple." In other words, in dress, in speech, in conduct, they are to reflect God's holiness. The reverent woman fears God and lives in His presence.
3. Older women are not to be slanderers
· The word "slanderer" comes from the Greek word "diábolos" or "Diablo" in Spanish or Filipino, which is translated 34x in the NT as "devil." Like the devil, a slanderer is one who falsely accuses and divides people.
· Steven Cole: "A godly woman will not repeat damaging stories about others. She will not spread rumors or half-truths that damage someone's reputation."
4. Older women are not to be slaves to much wine.
· Perhaps this was a special problem at Crete. As women grew older, women got addicted to wine. Perhaps these women used the intoxicating effects of wine to block aches and pains or to drown loneliness or depression. But this was sin, because they were not relying on the Lord and experiencing the joy of His salvation. God also wants older women to be in full use of their senses for His holy purposes.
5. Older women are to teach what is good.
· Calvin. It is not enough for older women to be decent. They are also to be teachers and trainers of young women to live a decent and chaste life.
· Another commentator writes: "We have bought into the notion that older people have had their day of usefulness and ought to make way for the young. But the principle here is quite the opposite. With age and experience come wisdom, and many older women have discovered secrets of godly living in relation to their husbands, children and neighbors and in the workplace that could save younger women a lot of unnecessary grief. And when the unavoidable trials come to the young woman, who better to guide her through than an older sister who has been through it before?" 50 Towner, p. 237.
6. Older women are to train the young women.
Older women, when their children are grown and gone and they reach the senior years, are not supposed to just wander away from the church and travel around as if they had no responsibility. In their older years they are responsible to become teachers of the next generation. The primary responsibility of "older women" is the training of "younger women."
Older women are to be engaged in a training process to raise a generation of sensible, disciplined, prudent, wise, discreet, restrained women who are committed to doing God's will. This is a tremendous challenge. It's not easily done.
The "training" process is accomplished by an ongoing relationship, by mentoring, by disciplining, by modeling, by setting the example of godly living with regard to marriage, and the family, and the home. You older women who no longer have the responsibility of your own children now have the responsibility of training the next generation of women.
MacArthur: "That's their primary role: to raise a godly generation of young women. I challenge the older women in our church to do that, the young women in your life are crucial. And you have them, they may be your daughters, they may be your daughters in law, they may be your granddaughters, they may be your daughter's friends, they may be your nieces, they're around, they may be those you know because of friendships, the daughters of your friends. They may be people in the church family. I don't think they're asking here for some kind of formal seminar. You have to come alongside and teach them how to live life, nurture them to godliness."
Today's Study:
In today's study we want to look at what older women are to teach the younger women.
God's Plan for Younger women
Titus 2:4-5
God has designed, very clearly, His own order for the conduct of young women. If there is anything in our culture that is being attacked more viciously than any other, it is this matter of the role of young women.
You can get into trouble just by reading this passage (Titus 2:4-5), even without comments:
Titus 2:4-5 ESV and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Try standing up in this culture and saying, "Women you are commanded to love your husband, and to love your children, and to work at home, and to submit to your husband."
But these are God's standards for younger women--they are not negotiable.
When Paul gave instructions regarding young women, he was addressing the typical young married woman who has children. "Younger women" comes from one word in Greek which means "new, young." This means that Paul may be addressing not only the younger women but the newly married.
Please do not think that you are no longer to listen to this because this is not God's Word for you. Maybe not, but this is still God's Word. We must appreciate God's revelation. We may also be used of God for others.
What are God's instructions for younger women?
Now, let's look at the specific commands.
1. to love their husbands
Titus 2:4 ESV and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
Some wives may react to this instruction and say, "Pastor, you don't know my husband. When I first met him, it was love at first sight. I fell in love with him. But after a few months, I discovered so many things about him that caused my love to grow cold. My husband is not lovable. He really turns me off. I don't love him any more!"
Paul's response to that is simple. "That is disobedience. That is disobedience to the clear Word of God. You are to love your husband. It is a sin to disobey this command.
If you feel that you don't love your husband, then you need to train yourself to love your husband. This implies that love is not automatic. It takes deliberate effort. It is based on God's will, not on a husband's worthiness.
Let's have a brief word study here. The phrase "to love their husbands" comes from one Greek word philandros. This one word is actually a compound of two words - philos and aner. Philos is one of the New Testament words for love and it means "a friend" or "loving as a friend." This kind of love indicates a tenderness. Aner means "husband." One Biblical counselor of women, Martha Peace, suggested that philandros means "to be fond of one's husband or consider him to be a dear friend."
How can a wife show philos kind of love to her husband? In practical terms, Martha Peace, in her book Becoming a Titus 2 Woman suggests thinking and acting in the following ways [Read pages 72-73]:
In addition to loving their husbands in a tender, beloved and "dear to her" sense, wives are also to love their husbands in an agapao sense. Perhaps you have heard of the Greek word "agape" which some would describe as the God-kind of love. It is not necessarily the love of emotion--it's the love of will and deep commitment. It is the kind of love that Jesus Christ manifested towards the church.
Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
How did the Lord Jesus love the church? He loved the church when the church was sinful; He loves us when we aren't worthy of His love; He loves us sacrificially. He loves us unconditionally. Thomas Constable writes,
Loving in this way involves unconditional acceptance. Wives need to accept their husbands as they are, namely, as imperfect sinners like themselves. This acceptance should not depend on the husband's performance but on his worth as a good gift God has given to the wife. The wife needs to accept her husband's thoughts, feelings, decisions, and failures. Love is active, not passive. It is something we do. Love involves listening because listening says, "I love you and I care about you." ... It involves protecting him from criticism in public as his ally rather than criticizing him before others. Love involves committing to a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship and sometimes taking the initiative for his pleasure. The best thing a couple can do for their children is to love each other unconditionally.
It's the kind of love that is implied in Philippians 2:3-4 ESV "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
2. To love their children
Based on 1 Timothy 2:15, it seems that the highest calling of women is to raise godly children (1 Timothy 2:11-15 ESV Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing--if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.)
The word "childbearing" in verse 1Ti 2:15 includes all the duties that are included in the faithful performance of her duties as a mother in bringing up her household for God.
This is how women will reverse the stigma of the curse by which women are stigmatized, because a woman led the race into sin. You will be preserved from that stigma when you rear a godly generation--that's your highest calling. Your greatest contribution comes in motherhood--that's generally true.
Clarification: There are some women that God wants to be single, and they are the exception. He doesn't want them to be married. They have what the New Testament calls a gift of celibacy. This gift is the special ability God gives certain members of the body of Christ so that they remain single and they can devote their whole life to Christ and not be weighed down by having to care for a life partner and a family, and children, and all of that.
Thank God for what women who have no children mean to the kingdom, because God has given them freedom to serve in unique ways. But generally speaking, women are mothers and they are to bear children, and in bearing children they have then the responsibility to love those children; and that means to sacrifice their life on the children's behalf.
- Mothers can love their children by expressing affection and delight in their children.
Paul expressed illustrated this towards the new converts in 1Thes 2:7-8:
7 But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. 8 So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.
Most mothers love their children. In fact, most would die for their children. It seems to be inherent in mothers to tenderly care for her child. However, there may be instances, especially when they try your patience by their disobedience. You are sinning against God and your children if you slap them around or angrily call them derogatory names.
These are the times when they need to be reminded of this command.
- Mothers can show love to their children by thinking loving thoughts.
What they can do is to meditate on the qualities of biblical love found in the Bible (e.g., 1 Cor. 13:4-7, Eph 4:31-32).
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
She can write down these passages, read them over daily and take each individual action of love and think of loving thoughts and/or actions towards her children.
Read examples in Martha Peace's book on pp. 80-81.
- Mothers can also express their love by diligently administering godly discipline.
· Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
· Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
3. to be self controlled
To be "self controlled" is to be in control of one's mind and emotions so that a person can act rationally and wisely, can have sound judgment, common sense, right thinking, right priorities. So many young women to day don't understand what it means to know their priorities, to think right, to make sound judgment, and to apply wisdom.
4. To be pure
This refers to sexual purity. Back in 1 Timothy 2:9-10, Paul said the same thing:
9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works.
So if you are going to claim godliness, and virtue, and holiness, and purity--it ought to show up on the outside.
Those two words in 1 Timothy 2, "modesty" and "self-control," are very interesting. "Modesty" means with a sense of shame, not ashamed that you are a woman, but ashamed that you might cause someone to be distracted from worshiping God, or ashamed that you might cause someone to look at you in lust. You want to have that kind of sense of shame: the thought of inciting lust or distracting someone from worshiping God.
The idea of "self-control" means "controlling all your passions." Women who make a claim to godliness have their passions under control; they wouldn't do anything to excite lusts.
Steven Cole: "Young women should not watch TV shows or read magazines or novels that feed their imagination with the supposed pleasures of illicit romance. Usually women are tempted to sexual immorality when their emotional needs are not being met. If that is true of you, talk to your husband about those needs. An adulterous affair will not meet your needs in the long run."
Young women shouldn't do anything to excite lusts and they shouldn't do anything to draw attention to themselves when God's people come together for worship. Holy women have always conducted themselves that way--so Paul says, "Older women are to teach the young women to be pure like that."
5. Working at home
Here is the one that controversial nowadays because women don't want to work at home. Many younger women have no understanding of how important the job of homemaking is. Also, they lack practical training in how to do it. Frankly, sometimes they are undisciplined, sitting around watching TV soap operas or game shows when they should be cleaning or organizing the house or shopping for family needs.
The phrase "working at home" is one word in the Greek. It implies that "the sphere of a woman's life is her home." That's her domain. It doesn't mean that she has to be there 24 hours a day and never leave. It is not that she is simply to be home, but that the home is her sphere.
The woman in Proverbs 31 left home when she needed to buy a field. She left home to prepare that field. She "went afar" to find things that would help the family. The woman did what she needed to do, but the focus of everything was the home, and that's where she poured her life. She up early and she went to bed late for the sake of the home.
To say, "her place is in the home" makes you think that she should just sit there because that's where she belongs. No, that's where her duty and responsibility is; that's where her opportunity is to have the greatest impact on the world. A woman doesn't impact the world by getting a briefcase and going downtown. She impacts the world by raising a godly generation of men and women.
The home is where she leads and guides and teaches and raises the godly generation. The home is where she is protected and secured from other men and potentially wicked relationships and abuses. The home is where she welcomes strangers, washes saint's feet, shows hospitality, and devotes herself to every good work. That's her sphere.
Illustration
The wife, mother, and home-maker is already in top management. A mother was out shopping with a baby in the [pushchair] and two toddlers dragging behind. A young woman approached form the opposite direction, smartly dressed, she had obviously reached the top of her profession. As she came closer, the mother recognized her as an old school friend. "Hello," the professional greeted, "and what are you doing in life?". The weary mother pulled herself upright and responded: "I'm working in a partnership for social development and I supervise the ‘under-fives' department. I also spend a fair bit of my time in the department of health, hygiene and food, and assist in financial control. What do you do?" "Oh," gasped the admiring young professional, "I'm just a model."
Steven Cole: Yes, this sounds outdated and sexist, but it is God's design and wisdom. No woman gets to the end of life and says, "Ah, I've had a satisfying life as a corporate executive!" Seeing your family walking with God and loving one another brings true joy. You have to work to make your home a beautiful and pleasant place for your family.
6. To be kind
· NIVBC: The devoted wife and mother finds her absorbing interest in the innumerable duties of the home (cf. Paul's condemnation of idleness in 1Ti 5:13-14). These demand unsparing self-giving and may subject her to the temptation to be irritable and harsh in her demands on members of her household.
· To be kind could mean to be a nice person to be around. MH: one of a meek and yet cheerful spirit and temper, not gloomy nor bitter; not cruel not worried; not of a troublesome disposition, uneasy in herself and to those around her; but of a good nature and pleasing conduct.
· Being "kind" may also mean heartily doing what is good and beneficial to others. In practical terms it means to be "good" or "kind" to their servants, and generous towards the poor, and to strangers.
7. To be submissive to their own husbands
J. Hampton Keathley, III
This indicates that submission is to be a voluntary response of the wife's heart that flows out of her greater submission to God's ordained plan for the home. Nowhere are husbands told to demand this submission. Rather he is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Indeed, he is to love and care for her as if she were his own body, nourishing and cherishing her as such (Eph. 5:25-31).
This term "their own" shows that the woman's submission to her husband should be different from the submission which she may have with men in general.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon made this tribute to his wife,
She delights in her husband, in his person, his character, his affection. To her he is not only the chief and foremost of mankind, but in her eyes he is all and all. Her heart's love belongs to him and to him only. He is her little world, her paradise, her choice treasure. She is glad to sink her individuality in him. She seeks no renown for herself. His honor is reflected upon her and she rejoices in it. She will defend his name with her dying breath. Safe enough is he where she can speak for him. His smiling gratitude is all the reward she seeks.
Even in her dress she thinks of him and considers nothing beautiful which is distasteful to him. He has many objects in life, some of which she does not quite understand, but she believes them all, and anything she can do to promote them she delights to perform. Such a wife as a true spouse realizes the model marriage relation and sets forth what our oneness with the Lord ought to be."
What a joy to be married to somebody like that. No wonder why he was the man of God that he was? He had some tremendous support.
J. Hampton Keathley, III
Finally, Paul concludes these seven spiritual duties with a purpose clause, "that the word of God may not be reviled."
The purpose clause undoubtedly applies to all seven duties since all would impact the testimony of a Christian woman before the world.
The word "reviled" means "to blaspheme, defame, slander, speak lightly of." The apostle is deeply concerned that our lives as Christians never discredit the truths of the word of God to the world.
Rather, our lifestyle must be consistent with the eternal and holy principles of Scripture (cf. vss. 8 and 10).
Closing Words
What a great opportunity it is for the church in these dark days to be salt and light in this world. God is alive and He changes people's hearts. The gospel we believe in is true. Let the world see that. Wives glorify God by walking according to this passage.
Again we cannot do this apart from the grace of God. May the Lord give grace to the young women who may yet be saved so that they find these instructions impossible to obey. Put your trust in the Lord.
